The relationship starts off amazing and is going so well for so long. At a certain point the relationship takes a turn for the worse. It feels like your relationship took a 180 and this sweet and loving girl becomes something different. Confused and not knowing what is going on you cross your fingers hoping it will turn around. But it doesn't.

When the signs start to appear that she isn't being as nice to your heart as she could be you typically go through a couple of stages. *note most of the stages aren't in order, you might play jump rope with them:

1. Denial

2. Rationalizing

3. Realization

4. Anger

5. Confusion

6. Self Deprecation and bargaining

7. Response-ability

8. Releasing, forgiving and letting go

Denial

Generally when she begins to act a little different and you know something is off you deny it. You deny it because being cheated on and two timed is such a huge blow to your ego.

As a result a big mental block is put in place to keep you from being honest about the situation and her.

People lie to themselves for two reasons: fear of losing something or fear of not gaining. When you are being cheated on the ego loses out on a false sense of self esteem, let me explain.

Before you learned any dating/relationship knowledge you were not as happy as you wanted to be. When a beautiful woman comes along she tends to take that unhappiness away. You start to feel better about yourself and your life.

You start to believe that she is the cause for your happiness and cure for your loneliness- you are happy because of her. This is a lie because no external thing whether it be money, women or success can bring you happiness. Happiness is only found inside of yourself.

If you go deeper and take a look at the source of your misery it comes from a feeling of not being loved enough. When a girl comes along and shower's you with love and affection it makes you feel like you are finally loved. On a simple level we think her love and affection (external) means we are loved and worthy of love. We need proof of being loved and she is the proof.

If the love and affection begins to drift away we tend to cling onto the girl and that external love. We do this because we don't want to go back to feeling lonely, miserable and unloved again. When things start to fall apart in the relationship we tend to deny it because of this strong attachment to external love.

Which brings us to number two:

Rationalizing

The attachment to the girl and what she used to make us feel is so strong that it has become like a drug and we become addicts. Addicts will lie, cheat and steal to get a fix..and so will a guy who is being cheated on. At first they don't even see that there is a problem. It goes completely past their radar and they don't even think about the possibility of her lying and cheating. We buy any excuse that is given to us. We completely believe her when she tells you that she fell asleep instead of meeting up with you.

When the excuses and uncomfortable feelings that can be found dead center in your stomach start to become more frequent, that's when the rationalizing increases. You will see a war going on inside of your mind. On one side is the voice that tells you that she is lying to you. On the other side another voice that speaks loudly will tell you that you are just PARANOID.

It's a constant war that rages all through the night and into the day making even the simplest of tasks difficult. Determining what is going on becomes very distracting and consumes your life.

For a long time, depending on your experience with getting cheated on, the paranoid side has a stronger army and wins every battle. It wins because it has your ego backing you and has a greater prize to win: holing onto the feelings of being loved. You don't want to believe that this could happen to you.

At this stage almost NO ONE can tell you that you are being cheated on. It seems as though someone has hypnotized you into believing that your girlfriend would never do that to you. Your friends can shout at you all day but no one is breaking that wall you have put up. You listen to what they say but never hear a word of it because you don't want to. Your friends try in vain to get you to wake up but they can't because it's something you need to learn for yourself. They know the truth but you refuse to see it.

*if you have a friend that is being cheated on and you know this, just tell him once and let it go. Otherwise you will be fighting a battle that few if any have ever won.

Realization

The ego is strong and may be able to hold off on the truth of being cheated on from getting through for a while. But eventually it let's it guard down for a moment and truth gains a victory. Eventually it will hit you like a ton of bricks and it will knock you on your ass. Suddenly it will become very obvious as to what has been going on. You will sit there and go “ohhhhh” and there will be no question to what she has been doing all those nights she bailed on you.

At this point the stages mix and match and don't follow any order. You might feel angry at first or you might feel sadness or you might feel them all at the same time:

Anger

Anger means “I'm confused and don't know what's going on and it scares me.” You don't understand why it happened and what exactly did happen. The unanswered questions send you into a spiral of rage.

The sting you feel is from your ego. It didn't want this to happen because she gave you such a sense of happiness. You felt loved before and now it's gone.

Everyone fears dying alone and miserable. When she cheated on you this fear was brought back up to the surface. This anger of not knowing what happened is backed up by this fear creating more anger and rage.

How could she do this to you? You were so loving and caring and she just turned her back to you.

You become enraged at her but really you are mad at yourself for not picking up on this earlier. You feel like an idiot because everyone around you could see what was going on but you couldn't. All the signs were there so you have no one to blame but yourself. Indirectly she told you time and again what she was doing but you wouldn't listen.

Some people try to still communicate with the girl get some answers. They ask them the why questions but to no avail. She won't be able to tell you why she did it because very few people are that conscious and aware of their actions.

Confusion

The girl was no help in finding the answers so now you head over to the confusion stage. You are left with so many un-answered questions. Why did she do it? Who did she do it with? What all went on? Did she still love me? Did she ever love me at all?

And the final question is “what did I do wrong?”

Self Deprecation and bargaining

The anger and the confusion of not knowing what happened leads you to look in the mirror for answers. This is usually when self loathing starts. “how could *I* let this happen?”

You begin to search for answers and the only ones you can come up with are ones that tear down your self esteem. Every flaw, every short coming of yours begins to become the answer to the question of why it happened. You weren't romantic enough or you weren't strong enough. You weren't good looking enough. Whatever it is you feel like your flaws are the reason this happened.

The pain at this point is very strong. This is when bargaining comes into play. You beg and plead for something to take this pain away. You wish and pray that you could go back and change all the mistakes you did and finally make it right.

This is a good stage to be at because it allows you the most growth. The anger has started to subside and you are beginning to take response-ability for what went wrong in the relationship.

Response-ability

After a short period of self loathing and bargaining takes place you are left with a choice. The two choices you have are response-ability and repression. Most people follow the latter and repress the pain. They begin to feel less and less terrible and start to believe that they are over the girl. This is false. The pain is still with you whether you want to acknowledge it or not.

I'm going to suggest that you choose the former and take 100% full responsibility for what happened. This path allows for you release the pain from being cheated on. Without it you will be left with a wound that will open up every time you get into a new relationship. You will be paranoid with your new girlfriend and very mistrustful of her.

You must accept that you contributed to her cheating and you being cheated on. It doesn't take two to cheat (her and him) it takes three: you, her and him. Girls don't typically cheat randomly and out of the blue. There are many signs that lead up to the unthinkable act.

Did you allow her to go out on too many girls nights out? If she was happy in the relationship why would she feel the need to go out and party without you. When she went out on these girls nights out she was searching for external validation from other men.

Did you allow her to have too many male “friends” and not say anything about it?

Did you let her walk all over you and treat you with disrespect too many times? Being a human doormat will cause a woman to lose respect and attraction for you. If she is your typical girl she will know that you are weak and be forced to search out for a stronger mate.

Did you ignore the uncomfortable feelings in your solar plexus (spot just below your rib cage) too many times without asking her about it? Chances are that those uneasy feelings were present long before she started cheating on you. Odds are that those nasty stomach pains were her leaking sexual energy outside of the relationship. Did you say anything about it to her? Or did you not want to be thought of as paranoid and mess up the relationship?

Did she not follow through on your plans that you both made too many times? Too many missed calls from you?

These are all the questions that you need to ask yourself. If you answered yes to some or all of the above then you did help create this situation.

After you take response-ability for creating this situation you need to sit down and think about what you can learn from this. What can you do differently in the future so you don't find yourself in another relationship with a cheating girlfriend?

Some of the typically “mistakes” that allow for cheating to happen are:

-ignoring the uncomfortable feelings you get in your solar plexus area. When she is lying to you or she is leaking sexual energy outside of the relationship you will tend to feel it in this area.

-Not taking the lead in the relationship

-Allow her to flirt with her male “friends”

-Accepting her excuses as to why she didn't call you or hang out with you when she said she would

-Not paying close enough attention to the signs and blindly trusting her

Without taking response-ability for what happened you are unable to learn the lessons from this failed relationship. Learning the lessons is what will help you heal some of these past wounds.

If you still feel pain and anger any time you think about her or the cheating, then you haven't learned all the lessons involved. Those negative emotions are there as a reminder that we still have to learn a couple more lessons. Once you learn ALL that you can then the pain will instantly go away.

Releasing, forgiving and letting go

You have finally learned all that you can from being cheated on, now it's time to let it all go and forgive. You must be able to forgive her as well as yourself. You don't need to contact her and directly forgive her, it can be done without her knowledge. The forgiveness is for you, not for her.

Don't regret going through this experience. Think about it, if you had done all the right things you wouldn't of had a chance to grow from it. Simply know that you went through this experience for a reason: to learn and grow.

Growth comes through the bad times, not the good. The bad times are there to remind us of a lesson we weren't paying close enough attention to.

I was cheated on pretty badly. My first real girlfriend was sleeping two ex-boyfriends and actually got engaged on me while I was dating her. It was extremely painful at the time but it has allowed me massive growth and I am very thankful for the experience.

If you recently got cheated on or you are having a tough time letting go of the pain from it, email me at questions@innergamereframe.com

Cheers!

-Alex

p.s please leave comments and feedback. Click on the comments below and you will be able to add comments.

We all care way too much what a complete stranger that knows nothing about us thinks. Fear of rejection is the underlying emotion in most approaches. The thought of a beautiful woman sitting there and calling you a loser in front of the entire club makes most guys stomachs turn in knots. Sort or ironically, being rejected will bring the most success with women into your life. Let me explain

Internally most guys think that they are complete lonely losers that no one could love. They greatly fear that women will find this out and have no desire for them. They learn all these cool lines and tricks but that fear of being thought of as a loser by women and confirming their already held beliefs is still strong. It carries so much wait that it cripples them from being comfortable in interactions or EVEN APPROACHING WOMEN.

They try their hardest to avoid getting “rejected” in order to avoid facing their own belief system. They try their very best to do everything “right”and LOOK COOL but by the very act of trying they are doing everything wrong. From this they place wayyy tooo much importance on getting a good re-action from the girl and becoming very outcome dependent and needy. If the interaction goes well they get a false sense of self esteem from the girl and feel good. If it goes badly then that fear of of actually being a loser is triggered and they feel terrible.

When you are outcome dependent you become very attached to what the girl thinks of you. This just breeds of insecurity and neediness which if you hadn't guessed is a HUGE TURN OFF for women. Women are attracted to men who could take or leave any woman. Not caring whether the woman comes, stays, lays or prays seems very counter intuitive but its what will get you the “best” results and lead to a happier and more peaceful life.

In addition to this fear of being rejected is a fear of the unknown. If you are just starting out in approaching or have done a couple of approaches the fear of the unknown is still lingering in the background. This fears makes your mind race at a hundred miles per hour with a million questions: “what if she pours a drink on me?” “what if she rejects me and all the people in the club laugh at me and I am humiliated?” “what if this happens?” “what if that happens?” and so on. The only way around fear of the unknown is to go straight through it and become comfortable with ambiguity of approaching and life.

When you get rejected badly and the initial sting wears down you will find it hilarious how some girls will treat a complete stranger who was just saying Hi to them and being friendly. Part of the reason why they felt the need to reject you badly is how annoyed they are at being hit on all day by guys who haven't a clue. Another part of it is the pleasure they get from rejecting guys. They love the feeling of having the power to control another persons state of emotions through their own actions.

One of the biggest fears that guys carry around with them is a fear of going back to who they were before they learned of the seduction community or any self help stuff. They remember how they felt before knowing any better, the loneliness, the feeling or being powerless and useless in driving the direction of their own lives.

Guy's develop a debilitating fear of being rejected because they fear that they will go back to who they were in the past. As a result, they avoid rejection at all costs.

My suggestion: Go out with the intention of getting rejected HARD. Like any fear, the only way around it is to go through it. Getting rejected, laughed at, drink thrown in face is NOT A BIG DEAL. It's not a big deal but you need to go through harsh and “embarrassing” rejection in order to realize that it doesn't matter what some anorexic club ho who has NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE thinks of you.

Hypnotica walked around for two months unshowered, unshaven, in a dress with a dildo strapped to his head in order to get over caring about what other people think. This is a great thing to do but it's not very practical to people with jobs and obligations. Alternatively, you can go out as many times as needed with the intention of getting rejected.

Here are a couple of things you can do to go down in flames:

-Go up to a girl or a group of girls and ask them “hey, do you like salads? I like croûtons that come with salads” It's a very stupid and ridiculous question to ask to girls in a club but it will help you get over trying to look cool and caring what they think of you.

-Go up to a girl and in a suave and cheesy way say “Daddy's home” but try not to crack up laughing before you deliver the line.

After you say these two things or make up your own, DON'T try and recover and get the girl-just make the approach as bad as you can possibly make it. You might feel uneasy and dumb saying these things but those feelings will eventually go away.

Each time you get rejected badly you will get closer and closer to not giving a shit what other people think about you and you will stop caring about the outcome of the situation. Releasing attachment and concern for other's opinion of you will GREATLY improve your success with women and all other areas of your life.

After a while you will actually begin to enjoy being rejected because of how funny it will become to you. Your skin will be so thick that nothing she does will be any concern of yours. It will no longer send you down a spiral of depression and completely ruin your night.

I'm sorta sadistic in nature, I'm not sure what I enjoy more, being rejected badly or getting the girl. I'm leaning towards to former because getting the girl is enjoyable but getting rejected harshly in a hilarious way is damn entertaining.

-Alex

p.s If you would like further help with dating, relationships or just getting your life together email me at alex@innergamereframe.com for a phone consultation. I charge on a sliding scale  meaning you pay what you want so you have nothing to lose.  

Women want real men but in today’s society that is damn hard to find. Women have lost faith, respect, trust and especially ATTRACTION for the mamma’s boys that walk the streets today-ones who should be checking female on their physical form instead of male. Most “men” haven’t the slightest clue on how to be a man who does it for her and himself. So, what is a real man?

The only quality that separates a man from a boy is courage-that’s it. The willingness and courage to push past fears, obstacles, resistance etc is what makes a man. All other qualities that come to mind when you think of what a REAL man is only come as a result of having courage.

A man is honest. Without courage you can’t be honest because honesty isn’t always the popular choice. When you are completely honest you run the risk of losing many things including friends, family, jobs and WOMEN.

People are basically full of shit and will lie to you and themselves all day long. Whenever they meet someone who is completely honest it scares the crap out of them because they fear that this person might reveal to them something they didn’t want to admit to themselves. Whether it be a fear, insecurity, judgment of themselves and so on, meeting an honest person is not something they want to do because they don’t have the courage to be honest in the first place.

I can’t count how many friends and women I have lost when I made the choice to completely honest with myself and others. 

People generally lie for two reasons:

    1. To hold onto something they don’t want to lose

    2. Not lose the possibility of gaining something

So you might lie to your girlfriend about watching porn because you don’t want to lose her or you might tell a date that you drive a BMW 500 series and that it’s in the shop because you don’t want to lose out on getting the girl.

People lie because they are scared of losing or scared of not getting but it’s all based in FEAR. To be completely honest you must have the courage to push past that fear, to say fuck it and do it anyways.

All fears are illusions, they aren’t real. You might feel them completely, the nervousness, the shaky hands but they aren’t real. Every time after you push past a fear and your heart rate calms down you ALWAYS think “that wasn’t that bad, what the hell was I scared of?”

A man is confident. Confidence doesn’t come from NLP, Hypnosis, of any other emotional balancing system. Those things definitely HELP but they will never work as well as having courage. Every time you push past a fear you gain confidence. Why?

The mind/ego is a fear producing machine. It loves to keep you nice and scared because it will have the greatest control over you. Control is how the ego gets fed and survives. If it were to lose all control over you, you would no longer have an ego.

Every time you push past an illusion based fear the ego/mind loses its control over you and you gain more confidence. Your insecure and doubtful thoughts no longer have as great of a pull because you realize that fear is an illusion. Identifying with the mind and the thoughts that it produces is why you are insecure and not confident in the first place.

A man is strong. A woman needs to know that you are stronger than her and can protect her if the situation calls for it. If you aren’t strong, she will know and test you until she has completely lost ALL attraction for you.

Strength comes from having the courage to push past fears and to be able to withstand rough times. This lifestyle is not an easy one. On this path you will be met with many difficult situations that will bring you down.

The weak ones stay down, the strong get back up and keep going.

Pushing through difficult, sometimes painful situations enough times will allow you to build massive confidence in yourself. You will know on a deep level that no matter how bad a situation gets you will be able to go through it and survive.

Women will pick up on this and they will just know who they are dealing with.

A man takes charge and takes control of his life. Women are attracted to men who take life by the balls and get things done. You can’t wait around for your life to magically become perfect or for a playboy model to knock down your door and demand to give you a blow job. You need to be the one to make things happen.

“Men who have lived significant lives are men who never waited: not for money, security, ease or women.”-David Deida

In order to take the reins of your own life you must not be a victim to the world and take full response-ability for it. You must not make excuses and blame others for how your life is. This requires massive amounts of courage to do.

Most people don’t take full response-ability for their lives because it scares them too much. If they take control of their lives and failed they would have no one to blame but themselves. The thought of failure is too much for most people to bare so they point their finger to the outside world for their own shortcomings and hide in their excuses. A man never hides from his fears and never makes excuses.

A man is fearless. Well this isn’t exactly true. It might appear that he is fearless because he has become comfortable being scared and pushing through that fear but he still feels it from time to time. The difference is that he feels this fear and doesn’t let it cripple him. He actively seeks out his own fears and conquers them to the point where there are few or none left inside of him.

A man knows who he is and what he wants. To know who you are you must have the courage to look WITHIN for the answers. Looking inward for the truth can be a scary thing to do. Most people avoid being honest with themselves for fear that they might find something they didn’t want to.

It’s not your insecurities, fears and doubts that take you down, it’s you inability to recognize them and to become aware of them that hurts you the most. When you become aware of something it no longer has the ability to run your life. Take time to sit down and think about what your strengths, weaknesses, fears and doubts are.

Also, take time to think about what you want out of life and what you want to get from getting good with women.

Do you want a girlfriend?

Just get this part of your life handled?

Sleep with a 1,000 women? 

Figure out what it is you want for yourself, NOT what someone else wants but what YOU desire. Most people haven’t the slightest idea what they want out of life so they go with what everyone else wants-”he seems happy, let me try to get what he has”

For more on figuring out what you want to do with your life I suggest reading my article on How to Find and Live Your Mission:

A man is a leader. Here is a quote from a post I wrote about being a leader:

“A TRUE LEADER leads without needing any follows. He doesn’t mind if people go in the direction that HE CHOOSES but he DOESN’T NEED them to because he would do it anyways. He knows what he wants in life and doesn’t care if people want to go down that direction. He doesn’t manipulate or control them into going where he wants to go, he simply goes WITHOUT PERMISSION from others. “

Courage comes down to a choice that you make. It’s the same choice that everyone else has. The choice to take full response-ability to do something about your life or sit in the corner sucking your thumb waiting for success to come knocking on your door. The choice to not let fear cripple you or let it destroy everything you desire in life.

The choice to be a man or not. NO ONE is born a man, they make the choice to be one.

So what do you chose?

-Alex

p.s If you would like further help with dating, relationships or just getting your life together email me at alex@innergamereframe.com for a phone consultation. I charge at a sliding scale prices (pay what you want) so you have nothing to lose.

p.p.s Questions? email me at questions@innergamereframe.com 

Beware the company she keeps for they will betray you. Few people have integrity in this world and even fewer keep it when the gain is so great. It is all we have and it sells for nothing. In desperation people will lie, steal and cheat to get what they desire. This applies greatly to relationships and your girlfriends “male friends.”

There is a big problem that is running rampant in today's relationships and it's called male friends. A lot of guy's would steal your girlfriend right out from under you without a second thought. Either through lack of integrity or desperation for love and affection would they take what is not theirs leaving you confused as to why this happened.

Some women are to blame for this. They love external validation so much so that is has become an addiction to them. They gain their self esteem from the compliments and attention from others and it is a tough habit to break. They get into relationships and receive withdrawal symptoms from not having drunk guys suck up to them every weekend. Without this attention they feel ugly, useless and miserable.

They like the security that comes from a relationship because almost everyone fears dying alone but still feel the shakes as the self esteem derived from external validation leaves their system. Single and fearing dying alone or in a relationship and watching their false self esteem dwindles away?

There lies a compromise that most take: be in a relationship but keep the male companions around for validation. All the while you can pretend like it doesn't bother you when she constantly texts her “friend” who is a little too touchy for your tastes. Or like most guy's who don't like it you can keep your mouth shut and repress your irritation.

You don't like it but feel helpless in the situation. You know something is off but feel like there is nothing you can do about it. You have made far too many rationalizations in your head for this sort of behavior. You don't want to appear needy or macho so you let it go only to find the situation getting worse as the days go bye.

Few find the strength and courage to say something to the girl which only ends up in an argument. Never argue with a women, she's better at it. The argument doesn't go as you plan and you only end up feeling guilty for something that doesn't sit right with you. The uncertainty of whether or not her having touchy feely male friends is what kills you and makes you unable to stand your ground.

She tells you hes just a friend and you believe it but something still doesn't sit right in your stomach. You feel as though it's unfair that she has friends that are a little close for comfort while you would never allow any female friends to get that way. You feel loyal to the relationship and wouldn't allow anything to threaten it but would she?

That's an important question to ask any time you feel like there is a male friend of hers that you don't quite trust. Does she care about the relationship to let go of anyone who threatens it? Or does she enjoy the high she gets from external validation more? If the answer is yes that she does want to protect the relationship then the male friend needs to go.

Before you even bring this up check to make sure it's not your own paranoia that is running the show. Does he make inappropriate compliments? Text or call her more than a friend should? Give her hugs that last a little too long?

Most women aren't used to dating guys with integrity and character. They are used to holding onto to male friends who over step their boundaries and having their boyfriends not say a word about it. She might be upset when you bring this up and try and turn it around on you. Don't listen to any of the arguments and keep your ground.

She might repeat that he is just a friend but would you do the same things with a buddy that her male friend is doing with her? No, probably not.

If she absolutely refuses to get rid of him then your answer is clear…No she is not willing to do anything to protect the relationship. At that time you are the one who needs to make a choice and ask yourself “do I really want to be with this person?”

There are also girls who don't derive all of their self esteem from external validation but still have those irritating male friends. Most of the time the girls have just brushed it off and made excuses for their friends behaviors. In this case it will be easy for her to let go of them. All you need to do is talk to her about it and have her become aware of what's going on and the problem will be solved.

It is more than ok to have friends within a relationship but they need to be friends both of you can trust. They need to be people who completely respect the boundaries of your relationship and who know better than to mess with it. They must be of integrity or they need to go.

-Alex

p.s If you would like further help with dating, relationships or just getting your life together email me at alex@innergamereframe.com for a phone consultation. I charge at a sliding scale prices (pay what you want) so you have nothing to lose.

p.p.s Questions? email me at questions@innergamereframe.com 

“Are you ready to have the sex that you only dream about?”

Sexual performance is big concern for EVERY guy. They fear that they aren't doing it right or worry that they aren't as good as her past lovers. They become unsure of themselves and start to wonder if the woman is REALLY enjoying herself or if she is thinking about what she needs to buy at the grocery store and wishing that you were better. 

This fear gets guys stuck in their head and they become overly paranoid- you should be in your body, not your head. There's a nagging question that plays on repeat in the back of your head "Am I any good?"

This question freaks some guys out so much that they can't hold back any longer and just ask the girl for some confirmation. Even if she does say "yes" you will always wonder if she was being nice and lying to you or telling the truth.  

Thinking too much on how good you are in the sack will hurt you more than anything. Over thinking it will actually CAUSE poor performance and  can even cause impotence, not being hard enough and ejaculating too quickly.  

Over thinking leads to major insecurity and many doubtful thoughts and questions, the biggest being "Am I Big ENOUGH?"

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, size matters ONLY if you have no clue what you are doing. It is a big deal if have no idea how to create and maintain SEXUAL attraction. For a girl, if most of the guy's she sleeps with are clueless she might as well go with the biggest.

I have spoken with MANY women who have been with lovers who were well equipped but they didn't get the girl to have an orgasm. When I asked them why they didn't have one they told me it's because the guy didn't know what he was doing.

In the past after I was done having sex I would sit there on the bed replaying the whole act over and over trying to judge whether or not I was any good. I began to doubt my performance and wondered if she had an orgasm or not. Needless to say, this made me a little gun shy the following time around.  NOT anymore.

Today I don't think twice about whether or not I am any good in bed.  I no longer worry about size, whether she had an orgasm or if I was the best that she ever had- the look on her face is enough to know.

In order to get this area of my life handled I searched the internet and read everything I could get my hands on. Most guides/books on how to have great sex are either too long or way too complicated-it's sex not advanced calculus. Many times the books included UNCOMFORTABLE positions that you wouldn't be able to get into without ten years of daily yoga practice or popping a joint or two out of place.

By learning how to please a woman and to be able to no longer worry about this part of your life will give you confidence that will spill over into other areas of your life. You will enjoy the confidence and peace of mind that comes from knowing how to handle yourself in the bedroom and women will pick up on this.  They will know whether or not they are dealing with a man who can give them what they want. When they find a man who has the skills and knowledge to do so they will become A LOT MORE RECEPTIVE TO HIM. 

Getting the knowledge on how to preform well in the bedroom will help you when it comes to approaching, dating, relationships and all of your interactions with women. 

   
In this *FREE* ebook you will find out techniques that I have learned from all over. I have read it ALL and most of the things I have tried don't work. I took what worked BEST and left out the rest.

In How to Lead Her Sexually ebook I will teach you how to take the lead and be the man she desires in the bedroom. Women desire to be taken and lead every step of the way. Talk to any woman and ask her if she likes it when the guy just sits there waiting for her to make the first move and every move there after. Only a select few women enjoy taking control and that usually involves whips and chains. 

Then I will discuss how to teach her to deep throat. Deep throating is something a lot of guy's want their girlfriend's or the girls they are dating to do but are unsure of how to go about getting her to do it. I give you a simple and easy way to get her wanting and loving to do it. Most women want to do it but are scared and don't want to look dumb trying so they just don't even bother. I provide you with a simple and easy step by step guide on how to get her wanting to do it and exactly how to do it.

Then I will teach you how to have and enjoy ANAL SEX with a woman. This is another one that guy's want to try with their girlfriends but usually are met with big concerns. The two biggest being "it will hurt too much" and "what if I have an accident?" I will cover how to handle to both of these concerns and teach you all the benefits of anal sex.

Finally, I will discuss easy techniques that teach you how to last longer and go the distance. The sex won't be great for either of you if it's over in thirty seconds. 

  
Additionally you will learn to unleash the animal inside of her. No longer will she be a dead fish sitting there barely moving after reading this ebook. She will become the beautiful little porn star in the bed that you have always desired. 

Read it NOW for FREE by clicking below. NO EMAIL REQUIRED

*Click Here to read How to Lead Her Sexually Ebook*

*Leave comments and let me know what you think *

Alex Strandberg

Creator of Inner Game Reframe

***QUESTION FROM A READER***

Hi Alex,

First thank you for your articles, they rock. My question is about leading, and and some questions about pua stuff, if you don't mind:) I find leading sooo difficult, it feels to me like forcing and girls don't respond to it. It doesn't come naturally, so its fake and they can see through it. So they don't follow, they resist.  e.g. getting to know the girl and then going to dance with her I just cant pull them on the dance floor.

I was going out this week and doing approaches, i made met like 20 girls, I don't want to brag, but for me its like wow, I would never believe that I can do it, so…I'm so stuck in the frame: "I dont know what to say." I also once said it to one girl, and we kind of laugh about it.  I mean, I'm relaxed, I can approach open, introduce myself, and then I go into blank.

I'm also numb, no sexual desire for girls, as I surrendered porn and masturbation. My guy friends are saying that im suppressing the urges, ..but I just dont feel so much of the lust around woman anymore, its more like: she's hot, ok.. so what? 

I'm a little bit jealous about my friend that can naturally flirt with woman. He can entertain them. I can sometimes, but most of the time not and thats kind of depressing, The entertainter guy, is it the only way to go around? i mean we are in the club, everybody wants to have fun he tells them some funny / playfull stuff like: "what kind of drugs should i take?" to dance with him, some crazy shit and they're always giggling and are attracted to him.

God, figuring this out is such a pain, the lines that he uses are like lies to me. I could say it but it would be laaameee. Once I did it and I could feel the girl thinking: "who is this creepy guy?" 

I was also trying the stephanes "are you single routine", and I don't know why but  most of the woman would say no even though they dont have boyfriends. They would lie to me that they have, just to look good, that they are not alone. Could it be true? or am I just scaring them of? till now I haven't got any: yes I'm single answer. I guess I'm not on this level yet to ask this and get some results.

I know what im looking for, I ask things that I would like to know about them, try to qualify but not overqualify as you wrote in one of your articles.  I find most of the girls don't qualify though. 

I also want now to have some consistency in going out, but its hard.  This week I went out only 2 nights and I'm sick from the smoke and music. I lost my voice from talking too loud-the clubs are killing me.

how do you handle it? where do you find your woman? where do you go out?

thanks for reading,

Marek

***MY RESPONSE***

Hey Marek,

Thanks man, I really appreciate it. I'm gonna comment within your email just so we don't get lost. (readers questions will be in bold)

First up is leading: Check out the article I wrote on leading here:

http://innergamereframe.com/not-leading-biggest-datingrelationship-mistakes-part-four/  

From your email it looks like you are trying/wanting to get them to come with you. Leaders don't try, they just lead. When you want or need them to follow your lead you are basically asking them if it's ok for you can lead them. When you are asking them to follow you THEY are the ones who are in the lead, not you.

I know you are trying to get leading down but its the very act of trying that sets you back from truly leading. People will feel that you are trying to lead and pull away from it.

This desire to get leading down leads to attachment to who ever you are trying to lead and people will pick up on it. You have to lead with or without any followers.

Are you taking her to the dance floor because you want her on the dance floor to get her attracted to you or because you just want to dance?

If you just want her to dance with you so you can lead and possibly get her to like you then you will become attached to her yes or no response. She will pick up on that and most times say no. If you are dancing because you want to then you would just go to the dance floor regardless of what she says.

People only follow those who they trust and those who know what they are doing and where they are going. Congruency in leading comes from knowing who you are but more specifically knowing what you are doing and where you are leading them.

Also,

When you want to do something with a woman like hold her hand or kiss her DON'T look into her eyes when you do it. When you look into a woman's eyes when you kiss her or whatever it sends a direct message that you are looking for approval- she will pick up on this and pull back. It's not the kiss that she disapproves of, it's your need for her approval that makes her not want to kiss you.

I'm so stuck in the frame: "I don't know what to say!" I also once said it to one girl and we kind of laughed about it.  I mean  I'm relaxed, I can approach open, introduce myself and then I go into blank. It seems that I can not be playful and flirt with them, not always. what to do?

I understand where you are coming from, this used to be a problem with me too. Seduction community makes it difficult for a person to have a REAL conversation with someone without the whole thing being scripted. When you use lines or any other scripted material you become paranoid about saying the wrong thing and blowing it with the girl. You fear that if you just be yourself and say the things you normally do that it will kill all of the attraction.

Problem with that is what do you say when you run out of scripted material?

Not knowing what to say comes down to feeling like you are not enough and loving yourself issues.  

(http://innergamereframe.com/how-to-love-yourself/) 

You are learning to get good with women and as a result tend to force the conversation and force things to go well with women. The only thing you need to get good with is losing attachment to the girl and having the ability to walk away from any situation.

I have had many conversations where it didn't get beyond a few sentences. It wasn't anything I did wrong, we just weren't right for each other for whatever reasons. When this happens I just walk away and I suggest you do the same.

It's all a numbers game. If I wasted time trying to get a conversation going with a girl who I didn't really click with then I wouldn't have the time to go looking for a girl that I would. When I go out, I'll approach every girl till I find one I will enjoy spending time with and if I don't find one, it doesn't really matter.

I'm sure you have had times where you had a conversation with a girl (cute or not) and it was amazing with no moments where you thought “what should I say next?” The conversation you had was effortless. The attraction was high and you didn't do anything special to get her to like you-it was just on.

Effortless approaching should be the frame to come from. Remember the conversations that required no work every time you talk to a girl. Next time you go out only talk to girls who are easy to get along with, only the ones you click with regardless of how nice her tits are. If it doesn't go well, then just walk away.

You find it hard to walk away from women because you are attached to them because you want to get good and prove to them and yourself that you are attractive. I do so well when I approach because I could care less about how it goes. I have zero attachment and as a result am able to enjoy myself more whether I “get” the girl or not.

There are a couple of things you can do to get over your attachment to a girl:

1. Go out one night and approach every girl in sight. When I was in college I would approach between 150-200 girls on a night I went out. MOST of those approaches went no further than “Hi, my name is Alex” By the end of the night you won't even remember what you said or who you talked to.

2. Approach just to get blown out by the girl

Go up to a girl and ask her “Hey, do you like salads?” Most girls will look at you like and idiot and blow you off. This exercise teaches you to drop attachment to the girl by knowing that it doesn't matter if you get her or not. It also teaches you that even if a girl thinks you are creepy or weird you will survive. Go out one night and do this with every girl you see.

3. Get to work on your orange and heart chakra affirmations- “I am enough” and “I love and accept myself”

I'm also numb, no sexual desire for girls, as i surrendered porn and masturbation.  My guy friends are saying that I'm suppressing the urges but I really just dont feel so much of the lust around woman anymore-it's more like: she's hot, ok.. so what?

It's a good thing. When you start meditating the lust factor drops off and you start to desire more than a hot body because you are losing your neediness. But dont worry, that desire for women will come back but in a different form. You will feel desire for them but it wont be in lust but more in appreciation of their feminine energy. 

Read Wild Nights by David Deida. That book will make you feel like a lot of sexual energy.

Also, do the breathing exercise I mentioned in the low sex drive post

http://innergamereframe.com/need-help-with-low-sex-drive/

As well, it could be the club girls. Those girls can make you think all women are bitches who only want you to buy them stuff or use you as a verbal punching bag. If you have a half open heart you will begin to lose your sex drive because of these women. Your heart will over power your sex drive and keep you from going with a girl that will make your life horrible. 

I'm a little bit jealous also, about my friend that can naturally flirt with woman. He can entertain them.  I can sometimes but most of the time not and thats kind of depressing. The entertainter guy, is it the only way to go around? i mean we are in the club, everybody wants to have fun right? 

He says some funny / playfull stuff like: what kind of drugs should I take to dance with you, some crazy shit and they're always giggling and are attracted to him.

 
God, figuring this out is such a pain.  The lines that he uses are like lies to me.  I could say it but it would be laaameee. Once I did it and I could feel the girl thinking: whos this creepy guy?

No, you don't need to be an entertainer for them or have high energy to get women attracted to you. I'm a relaxed type of person and my voice is very monotone. I make jokes and am playful but I would never ask a girl what kind of drugs to use or be an entertainer for them. I ask boring questions that everyone else asks. All of this works great for me and women are attracted because of who I am, NOT what I do or say. They feel that I am a real man who could easily walk away from them without giving it a second thought. My non-attachement to anything is what attracts them the most. 

If you aren't naturally an entertaining type of guy you don't need to change that to get girls to like you. It's fake because that's not who you are and women will know. Get your inner reality handled and it won't matter what style you have-it all works.

Also, becoming someone you are not to get women attracted to you reeks of approval seeking and neediness. When you do that you are basically asking them "if I act this way, will you like me now?"

Those lines will come naturally when you begin to know on a deep level that you are enough, could take or leave any girl and don't care what anyone thinks of you. You will be a cocky and funny master when you no longer have attachments to women. Imagine how you treat an ugly girl who you have no attachment to or a friend-it will come when you no longer fear losing them.

And dropping attachment will come in time. You cant force yourself to drop it anymore than you can force yourself to lose 30 pounds in a week. You will feel less and less attached over time till one day you have little to no attachment. Forcing yourself to drop it will only work against you.

I was also trying the stephanes "arey you single routine", and I dont know why but  most of the woman would say no even though they dont have boyfriends. They would lie to me that they have, just to look good, that they are not alone. Could it be true? or am I just scaring them of? till now I havent got any: yes im single answer. I guess im not on this level yet to ask this and get some results.

You are using that opener to get them attracted but not out of curiosity or genuine interest. If you weren't attached then it would come off naturally and from a place of curiosity. Drop the neediness that comes from attachment and you will begin to qualify women and wonder if she is good enough for you. 

For now, just drop that question-at least for the first couple of minutes. Most of the women that are cold to you aren't single so you will get a good notion of her relationship status very quickly. Open with something else and if its going good, ask her if she is single.

I know what im looking for, I ask things that I would like to know about them, try to qualify but not overqualify as you wrote in one of your articles.  I find most of the girls don't qualify though. 

I also want now to have some consistency in going out, but its hard.  This week I went out only 2 nights and I'm sick from the smoke and music. I lost my voice from talking too loud-the clubs are killing me.

how do you handle it? where do you find your woman? where do you go out?

Trying to get consistent is the ego attachment. Your enjoyment of the night is partially based on how well you are doing with women. If one is into you then you feel good but if you strike out all night long then your night goes down the drains. 

Drop the neediness and you will enjoy when you strike out. I'm not sure what I enjoy more, getting the girl or her rejecting me hard. Getting rejected badly, for me, will make the night an enjoyable one because of how ridiculous it is that a person will treat a complete stranger who was friendly to them in such a way. It's hilarious to me.

Going back to the girl who wouldn't dance with you. Imagine how much you can change her life? When my gf says “thank you for making me a better woman” its because her life has changed because of me for the better. If that girl got to know you, you would have so much to teach her that would improve her life dramatically-she missed out on receiving the gift that is you.

As well, you are going out to clubs. The chances are slim of you finding a girl that is going to do it for you and make your life better in a club. Most are validation junkies. This is why its so important to not care how it goes with girls and just enjoy yourself. At a club most approaches will go no where if you have actual standards.

I handle the loud noise of a club by not going to loud clubs that kill my hearing. I go out to clubs/bars that play music that I actually like so if it's a little too loud I don't mind. If the smoke is killing you, then go to a place that is smoke free. If you can't do that then limit your outings and approach girls during the day. 

I met my girlfriend a long time ago while I was in school. Funny, I tried the cocky and funny stuff on her before I got a handle for it and she hated my guts. I ran into her years later and things were a little bit different and she has loved me since. 

The girl that is right for you will come into your life when you least expect it and it will be effortless. 

Cheers!

-Alex

QUESTIONS? Send all questions to questions@innergamereframe.com 

Todays typical man doesn't have a lot going on for him. He doesn't have a mission, hobby or passion for life. He works a job that he wishes he could quit. He goes out and gets drunk with his buddies wishing he had better friends. He feels stuck in his position in life wanting, waiting, wishing for something better to come along.

Out of no where comes a beautiful woman who that wants to spend time with him. He is thrown off guard by this pleasant surprise, so much so that he completely forgets about everything else. Most of the time when a guy starts dating a new woman she becomes HIS WORLD.

Soon after meeting her he begins to lose any sense of self he once had and puts her first above all. Everything he had done before he met her has been put on the back burner for his new flame.

He ditches his friends at the drop of a hat to spend some time with this girl who he has only known for a week or so. He takes off of work to go to the beach with her even though he can't afford it. Little does he know that this type of behavior is exactly what will drive her away the quickest. He is thinking everything is ok while she is looking for the fastest exit out of there.

NEVER MAKE ANY WOMAN THE NUMBER ONE PRIORITY IN YOUR LIFE. Putting your girlfriend or date into the number one spot will kill the attraction quicker than anything else. For many reasons:

   
        1. She knows that your self esteem is not high enough

When you put a woman in the number one spot you are basically saying her happiness and well being is more important than your own. You might think it is romantic or cute to put her needs above your own but it isn't. It sends a direct message to the woman that your self esteem isn't high enough to take care of number one: yourself. Low self esteem guys rarely get the girl. Even if they do, they quickly lose her.

        2. Fear of losing the girl 

“If I don't do what she says or put her first she might leave me”- If you do end up putting a woman first and she does leave, you should consider yourself lucky. A lot of the time when the woman is first the relationship goes to absolute hell where cheating, lying, manipulation, NAGGING become the day to day routine. I have seen and heard some absolute horror stories when the woman decides to stay in it for whatever reason after the attraction level has hit zero.

        3. It's Dishonest 

Humans are basically selfish creatures, we look out for our own survival and do things for us. When you put other's needs above your own you are lying to them about your own desires. For example; your date or girlfriend says “hey lets go get hot dogs” and you hate hot dogs but you don't say anything because you don't want to upset her, you are lying to her about what you truly want.

People rarely do things for others without attachments. Most of the time they do for others because they want something from them, be it attention, love, friendship, sex, whatever. They believe that they are being “nice” but their niceness comes with a price and almost always has an agenda.

Being selfish and putting your needs first is simply being honest and honesty is something people can trust. People will hate you for it but hey, you can't win them all. They will try to guilt trip you by calling you a self centered bastard but thats them being upset at their inability to get you to put them first.

        4. Not knowing any better

Society, parents and religion have all shoved down your throat the romantic notion of sacrificing everything for a woman to prove to her your love. This fairy tale story ONLY works in the movies, never in real life. In real life, as MANY of you can attest to, it kills the attraction. 

Majority of guys get their dating/relationship model from their parents. Unfortunately, for many of you, your parents relationships suck. Mommy orders daddy around while daddy spends his nights fantasying about how it would feel to be in a LOVE filled relationship where the ATTRACTION is still going without all the arguing and mothering. From this most guys figure that this is the way a relationship should be and have no idea about the possibility of having long lasting attraction based interactions with women-they simple don't know any better.

        5. It's downright needy

Nothing reeks of neediness more like dropping everything in your life to be with a woman. Guy's do this because they are trying to fill a whole inside of themselves. They feel they lack in someway and need a woman, a car or money to finally feel good about themselves.

Relationships/dating are all about helping each other to be better people. When you are on a plane the flight attendants instruct you to put your mask on FIRST in case of fire before putting your children's mask on. The reason they do this is because you will be able to help more people when you take care of yourself first. If you decide to put their mask on first you won't be helping many people when your lungs are filled with smoke.

A lot of Seduction Guru's suggest not spending as much time with her. While I understand this line of thinking but it doesn't solve the problem. The problem isn't the amount of time you spend with a girl, it's your neediness and lack of priorities that she picks up on that kills the attraction. Spending time with a girlfriend or a date is a GOOD thing because familiarity breads closeness but just as long you DON”T make her a priority over everything else.

The advice “don't spend as much time with her” is basically mimicking how “bad boys” treat women. It's fake because you really aren't a bad boy, you are just needy. When you put on the fake non-needy bad boy mask and force yourself to be aloof with the girl it will get you stuck in your head and over thinking everything big time.

You will get extremely paranoid that you are spending too much time with her or showing too much interest. This happens because you are showing the actions of someone who naturally isn't needy and playing make believe but on the inside you are still the same person-your inner game is still not solid.

A much better solution is to simply make the choice to drop being needy. Once you have dropped neediness you won't have to think about it because it will no longer be a concern. Once neediness is gone you will have the freedom to do WHATEVER YOU WANT and NOT KILL THE ATTRACTION.

I suggest that you do two things if you are or have in the past put women first above ALL else:

        1. Become Selfish

        2. Get your priorities in line

“The most important person in my relationships is ME”- David X

That is a powerful fucking statement. That should be the frame you always keep in mind whether it's a first date or it's your two year anniversary. ALWAYS put yourself above ALL else because in the end when you close your eyes and go to sleep, there is you and you alone. You may have been with this girl for ten years but you have been with yourself for a lifetime.

Become selfish. Become honest and do things for yourself. Make yourself the most important person in your life. Touch her because YOU want to. Kiss her because you want to. Go out to a bar because you want to. Don't go out to a bar because you don't to-whatever it doesn't matter as long as you are doing things on your own terms.

*note: it doesn't mean that you don't ever do anything for her, it simply means that you do things because you want to. Example: you give her a gift or a back rub because you want to enjoy the pleasure she gets from receiving a back rub or a gift, NOT because you want to get her to stay with you or like you.

Get your priorities in line

Here is a new list of priorities:

        2. Your integrity- Never sell out your honesty or core values for a woman. Even if she doesn't like that you stuck to your    guns she will respect you for it and the attraction will grow. 

        3. Your mission- “Never break your mission for a woman. She needs to know that your mission is greater than her or your     relationship” An example of this: Just as I'm typing this my girlfriend called to talk to me. I told her I was writing and to call later on because I was on my mission.

For more information on being on your mission check out How to Find and Live Your Mission:

http://innergamereframe.com/how-to-find-and-live-your-mission/ 

4. Your relationships with women, family and friends. This should always be fourth on your list of priorities. I'd go so far as to even tell the woman that she will be number four on your list.

She may say that she doesn't that you are selfish and put yourself first but the truth is she will LOVE it. She will love it because she has finally found a man who isn't weak or needy, doesn't put her first and has a strong sense of self and purpose in life.

-Alex 

*Please leave comments and tell others what YOU think of this post*

P.S First product "The Natural Approach: The Path to Gaining Solid Inner Game" has been started. I will keep you updated with the details.

Women are attracted to MEN, not little girls posing as men. They want men who are leaders, not boys that look to others to take control of the steering wheel for them. They want a man to be the driver so they can sit back and relax in the passenger seat while they go on an adventure.

Women don't have respect for today's men but how can they. Today's men have been emasculated and controlled into having no spine and a complete lack of balls. Today's man is more akin to a robot that has been programed to wait for orders from it's user. Because of this, they simple don't know how to turn women on. Being the leader is one department that most men lack in and it kills the attraction in the relationship each time. There are several reasons why guy's don't lead:

        1. They get so excited in a new relationship/new date that they forget to lead

It is very easy to get caught up in the emotions of a new relationship and completely forget what needs to be taken care of: leading her.

The girl is so used to being the one to make the decisions and call the shots that it has become second nature to her. She leads without thinking. Typically what happens is this, the girl suggests something and you are so excited, happy or whatever that you just agree to it without thinking before acting. Before you know it, you are off doing whatever she wants to do, even if you didn't actually want to.

Two or three weeks pass and the high of being in a new relationship or dating begins to subside and she is now the one who is in control of the direction you are heading in. This dynamic is established because you didn't do what needed to be done and now it's much tougher to reverse the roles.

After the high attraction, freshness and excitement of the beginning stages of a relationship begins to fade, it will become apparent that she is the one calling the shots. When this moment occurs the attraction she felt will begin to go down a sliding slop until it hits the bottom. The fun, exciting, loving, caring girl you knew when you first met will change into a bossy, controlling, nagging chore of a woman . This happens because she knows you aren't strong enough to lead her and you will be sitting there wondering what the hell happened?

Solution: It is more than ok for a women to make a suggestion as to what you can do but you need to be the one making the final decision as to whether or not you are going to do it. To calmly make a decision instead of just reacting to her request, I suggest you get into the habit of taking a deep breath and pausing before deciding what to do.

        2. Fear of losing the girl if you take the lead

For most guys, they are shocked when a girl finds them attractive and is actually willing to spend time with them. They aren't used to beautiful women being into them so they develop a huge fear of losing the woman. It's similar to a homeless person finally getting fed and being paranoid of people trying to take his food.

They want to do everything “right” in order to not fuck this up and go back to being lonely again which causes them to not lead the relationship. Ironically, them trying to do things “right” will cause the women to lose ALL attraction for them.

        3. Not knowing how to lead

In the past there used to be training on how to lead and become a man. There was a right of passage that turns boys into men. These things haven't been around for generations so it's unlikely that your father ever learned how to lead and become a man. In as much, he never taught you how to lead either.

I'm going to show you how to lead.

THE ONLY PERSON YOU CAN EVER LEAD IS YOURSELF. This is very key to keep in mind when you developing the masculine leadership side of yourself.

When you try to get others to follow, you are basically asking them if it's ok with them if you took control of the situation. You are essentially looking to them to let you lead. When this happens THEY are the ones who are in the lead because at any time they can stop letting you lead and do their own thing.

A TRUE LEADER leads without needing any follows. He doesn't mind if people go in the direction that HE CHOOSES but he DOESN'T NEED them to because he would do it anyways. He knows what he wants in life and doesn't care if people want to go down that direction. He doesn't manipulate or control them into going where he wants to go, he simply goes WITHOUT PERMISSION from others.

A true leader goes without the approval of the pack. It takes courage and strength to push beyond group mentality because as humans we fear losing approval of others (it's hardwired into us). Ironically, this type of leading will get people to follow you the most.

In order to properly lead you MUST first KNOW where you want to go in life. You must know what it is you want to accomplish. Without that knowledge it is doubtful you will ever get anywhere-you will end up wondering the sea without a port for an eternity.

Here is an exercise to develop leadership:

Next time you are in a group of people or with a friend and you want to cross the street or go into a store, DONT say anything and just do it. Don't look back to see if they follow you, just keep walking.

If they don't follow you become comfortable with the uneasiness that comes when you stray from the group.

Take this exercise and do it ALL of the time. When you are at a club and you want to dance, just go dance without asking anyone else or checking to see what everyone else is doing.

Apply the reverse as well. If a girl or your friends want you to go dancing with them but you don't really want to, DON'T.

Leading Date/Relationship exercise

Tell your girlfriend or your date to close her eye's and hold your hand. Tell her that you will be leading her but she needs to trust you that she won't get hurt. Then walk her around for a little while with her eyes closed. Just make sure she doesn't trip on anything.

This will put you in the leadership role and her in the follower role. As well, it will build mass amounts of trust between the both of you.

First step is to know what you want and where to go. The second step is actually going in the direction you want regardless of what others think and what other people are doing.

For more on developing an idea of where you want to go in life, I suggest you check out my article: How to Find and Live Your Mission

http://innergamereframe.com/how-to-find-and-live-your-mission/

Keep an eye open for Biggest Dating/ Relationship Mistakes Part Five

-Alex

p.s: I will be coming out with a new product soon. It will go into detail on developing solid Inner Game and how to drop the pickup lines to become naturally attractive to women.

p.p.s I have been asked to write a weekly column for http://www.theseductionbible.com/ Go check their website out, it has a lot of great stuff on it

Send any and all questions you have to questions@innergamereframe.com

I know what you are thinking, you aren’t her father so why do you need rules and boundaries? No you won’t be playing the role of daddy but you can go ahead and give her a nice spank on the ass anyways. Playing dad to her is the last place that you want to be because all daughters rebel against their fathers.         

“People treat you the way you train them to”

Ever have a friend that was too nice and as a result people walked all over them? Think about how those same people treated you. Unless you are the nice guy who is a human doormat, they treated you much differently because you have self respect and a back bone. Even though the people were the same, the way that they treated you is different because you trained them to treat you that way.

Creating rules in which to adhere by is all about self respect and love. You tell them what is and what is not acceptable when they interact with you, not only for women but for everyone.

With women it WILL create a lot of attraction. Without rules the attraction will be KILLED and she will make your life a living hell. Some might do it for the former reason but it’s not wise to use it as an attraction technique because it won't be congruent. You will be putting on a fake mask of masculinity and will attract women who will put on a fake mask of femininity. The women that pretend to be feminine and are really just masculine have deep control issues. Since you are just pretending to be masculine by having rules for attraction she will control and dominate you.

Your reason for doing this should be the latter, to keep your life peaceful. It should be for your own self respect and sanity, NOT just to get her panties wet.

I am a really simple person with simple needs. I desire for my life to be as peaceful and calm as it can be. Right now my life is pretty peaceful and setting rules for how people should treat me has made this possible.

I have heard some horror stories from guys that let a woman do whatever they want and never tell her what is and is not acceptable.

To effectively have rules and boundaries you must NOT fear losing that person. When you fear losing someone because you feel like you need that person in some way you will only go so far before caving and giving in. When this moment happens, they will know your tipping point and know that they can do whatever they want and you will still stay with them.

By not staying strong and getting rid of the person when they can’t treat you with respect will cause them to lose trust in you, especially with women. She will feel like you were lying to her before when you told her that xyz behavior wasn’t acceptable. She now knows that you aren’t strong enough to keep to your guns. She can no longer rely on you to be strong and has no choice but to pull away and lose attraction.

Get over your fear of losing that person. When you transition from being a doormat to someone with a pair you WILL lose people in your life. They will tell you that you have changed or are weird but its all bullshit. They are just upset at their inability to control their little whipping boy because the ego loves nothing more than to feel like it can control others.

“but isn’t that manipulative and controlling”

Setting rules and boundaries is simply being HONEST. When she decides to flirt with your best friend, on the inside you HATE it but you don't do anything about it. Why? Because you don't want to lose her. You are selling out your integrity