The biggest way to get over an ex is by falling out of love with that person. A person falls out of love when there are too many negative experiences and mistakes made by the other person. A mistake can be forgiven but when they are too great in numbers and in a short period of time love and attraction will fade very quickly.
Unfortunately many times after a relationship ends we tend to get tunnel vision and only see the good times we had ignoring why the relationship ended in the first place. We create this fairy tale fantasy that gets exaggerated over time. This image is quite difficult to let go of.
Getting over an ex might take weeks or months. These exercises are designed to help speed up the process.
1. Think of your ex that you no longer wish to be in love with
2. Make a movie of all the good and happy times you spent with that person. Enter those memories and experience them as if they are happening right now. Take those memories and make the image very small and off into the distance. Then imagine them running backwards from the last good memory you had to the first time you met them.
3. Now imagine all the bad times you had with them (write them down if you need to). Remember all the negatives feelings you had and feel it as if it was happening now. Step into those memories see it through your eyes. Remember all the anger, disgust, disappointment you felt for them and how it felt being around them.
4. Take all of those memories and play them back to back as if you were watching a movie. Repeat this step over and over until you get sick of them.
5. Imagine a future where you are free of them and happy to move on with your life
There are many other things that will need to be done before you can truly get over an ex. The biggest is learning the mistakes you made while you were in the relationship. I suggest reading these articles where I point out some of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships:
Stumble It!
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I need help man im having problems getting over an ex its been 4 months. She is always like super mean calling me names and just being a bitch she talks about me behind my back just loud enough were i hear it. But she was the girl i lost my virginity to and i cant get completly over i thought i was till the other day i had a dream we got back together and now it almost feels like im back at square one any advice man?
I have a few thoughts. First, you need to get as far away from her as possible. No calls, texts or hanging out together. Break ups are never easy and it gets more difficult when she is your first. Your self esteem will only continue to plummet if you spend your time around a person who has nothing but content for you.
If you are in a situation where it’s a group of you and she’s part of it, I’d suggest still getting away from her. The decision to walk away from her completely will give you the added bonus of finding out who your true friends are. If they stay and continue to listen to her talk badly about you then they were never really your friends.
Some people put a lot of stock into dreams but very few dreams are worth a second thought-this is one of them. I strongly suggest learning how to build your self esteem up and go out and meet other women. Ultimately, another woman won’t cure you of your break up but it will be a good start in the right direction towards getting it together.