She is immature and selfish, but that was difficult to see until she actually acted on it. I put her as no. 1 too soon, but somehow even if I didn’t, I think it would have turned out the same as she really is a player playing the field for whatever need she has; a wrong girl. So, the entire situation fits into your frames and answers a myriad of questions even though I know part of it was cause I was a “wuss” (sound familiar). We only dated for like three months, so we never had the “talk” that we were exclusive, which left me powerless to say anything about her behavior, and made me feel even more played and a wuss. Now, the damage is done and its over. I could now make the demand, but its too late, the trust is broken, and if she really cared about me, she wouldn’t have arranged that weekend in the first place. She thought she could get away with it because I wouldn’t want to appear needy and jealous, but ironically, I feel do feel needy and jealous for standing up for my boundaries. Quite a paradox, but something I know I have to do.

I think I had sex with her too early and attached too soon as well. That sounds f’ed up since most guys tend to think that is more chik-like, but its really about control and power, not sex, isn’t it. As guys, we give up our power when we do that, but only if we actually like the girl, if she were a random hook up, it wouldn’t be a problem, right. I know you’re developing your site, and my humble suggestions would be to add sections discussing sex dynamics, early relationship development, timing of when to impose boundaries, and perhaps most important, the big picture of why guys today need this coaching when for all of time, men have been men and were the one’s with automatic power in the relationships. The changing social dynamics of the past 30-40 years from the sexual revolution, feminism, materialism, to the present day attitude of American women of entitlement. When I travel to foreign countries, I find the women there are much more appreciative of men in general, where here women tend to think of men as a means to an end, whether sex with the hottest guy or looting a guys coffers under the guise of marriage. It truly is a dangerous game out there and statistics show only 5% of marriages are truly happy. We need more enlightenment as men and I applaud your work.

A man who has a mission that ENABLES him to give freely to his woman, his family and friends is the one who is dependable and reliable. A man who has a mission that gives him FREEDOM allows those around him to share in that freedom.

Imagine we all have 1 (one) point of value. Nobody is really more valuable then anyone else. We may SEEM valuable at times, but underneath the social dynamics and desires, wants and needs, we’re all equal. I like to keep that in mind when i’m approaching ANYONE.

John DeMartini talks about this… he says we inject ourselves with the belief systems of the people we admire, whilst we inject OUR belief systems into the people we despise. We’re either putting people up on a pedestal, or taking them down and putting them below us.

The key illusion behind this behavior is that we all have different values and belief systems, and we are THE BEST EXPERIENCED to be ourselves Nobody else could do it better then we could.

What i’m leading to is that we must be ourselves before we can truly be with anyone else. Putting a GIRL or ANYBODY up on a pedestal and putting them first is really just an indicator (as you’ve said alex) of low self esteem and trying to live your live THRU somebody else.

It takes COURAGE to be OURSELVES. The beauty is that it doesn’t take to much to KNOW WHO WE ARE… the hard part is standing up on our OWN TWO FEET and saying . . ‘OK, THIS IS WHO I AM!’

Once we get used to being ourselves, we become naturally attractive to others, because we are in energetic harmony with ourselves. We feel peace within, and that naturally radiates out and others pick up on it.

OK i’ll stop SHOUTING NOW. Maybee….

A.

I do agree with having to have a balance of mission and girlfriend. There cannot be one extreme of the other because that does not lead to a fulfilling life.

The key to have balance between your mission and your relationships. If you work all the time then there will be no room for your girlfriend, friends or family. At the same time if you put your passions below your girlfriend then it won’t turn out well in the end either.

Another way to do it is to include your girlfriend in your mission in some way. Have it be something you work on together to create. For example, I have my girlfriend help me out with this site a lot.

You also need balance with your mission. You need to take a break from it in order to recover and gain energy to be efficient in following your mission.