Comments on: Not Setting Rules and Boundaries: Biggest Dating/Relationship Mistakes Part Three

By: jay

jay — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 06:52:06 +0000

Alex and all readers,

I think you would all benefit by reading “The Way of the Superior Man” by David Deida.

Alex a lot of the stuff you mention is very similar to what he writes about. Read it with a grain of salt, keep what works for you and I think the book will help out all of you who actually read it.

Keep up the great work Alex. I’m going through your Mistake Parts and they are great.

By: DatingSkillsReview

DatingSkillsReview — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 13:46:50 +0000

IMHO the biggest issues that guys come up against, once they know that there should be rules and boundaries are:
1. At first, coming from a PUA mindset, they are overly HARSH. It is a reactive response, and ends up hurting the relationship.
2. They don’t have a clear idea of what they want, so they don’t know what rules and boundaries they want. Often they are distracted by some of the community’s ‘ideals’ vs. ‘what they want internally’. This is one of the downsides to the community – people losing their own sense of purpose and needs.

By: How To Set Boundaries With People?

How To Set Boundaries With People? — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 16:25:26 +0000

[...] to keep someone around. Check out this article I wrote on keeping boundaries in relationships: Not Setting Rules and Boundaries: Biggest Dating/Relationship Mistakes Part Three __________________ Latest article: How to Stop Being Nervous Around Beautiful [...]

By: Yvonne Adams

Yvonne Adams — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 04:26:54 +0000

Of course, what a great site and informative posts, I will add backlink – bookmark this site? Regards, Reader.

By: Alex Strandberg

Alex Strandberg — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 01:47:25 +0000

Hey Rob,

That’s incredible news man. The best part is not only do you see it but you are living it. Nothing feels worse then knowing you need to do something but unable (or not knowing how) to muster up the energy and strength to accomplish it. When that happens you are in a struggle with yourself, part of you is strong and ready to move on, while the other part of you still holds on to lesser habits.

Notice how sloppy your first post was, one giant paragraph. The second post is much better written than the first one.

If you do decide to take her back I would suggest having a long conversation with her. This conversation will accomplish one of two things:

1 ) be able to establish ground rules and how things will be different

2 ) tell whether or not she has really changed. If she is strongly against you being in the driver’s seat and having a respectful relationship it will quickly become apparent in this conversation.

Make sure that you get her to agree to how your relationship will be from here on out. I’d even go so far as to tell her to give it a week to think what you have talked about over.

If you do get back together look out for the first “test.” You have taught her for many years not to trust you as a man and need to prove otherwise-can’t really trust someone who is that much weaker than you. It will happen but don’t get up and arms about it. Remind her of the rules but don’t instantly kick her out of your life again.

Really great stuff. Keep us posted on what happens

Cheers

Alex