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Despite what most PUA seduction teachers would say, it is very attractive to be vulnerable. The reason it doesn’t work for them is because they draw in low self esteem girls who only want guys who treat them badly-like the way they treat themselves.

In order for you to be vulnerable with someone you must first be able to be completely honest with yourself. With all the self-help, reprogrammed, affirmation driven minds out there in the dating community honesty tends fall off to the wayside. Every issue that comes to the surface is quickly repressed with an affirmation or two-it’s a positive way of telling yourself to shut up. Repression leads to many unhealthy things including depression.

*note: Affirmations aren’t bad in of themselves just the way most people use them For vulnerability to be an attractive quality there must be a couple things inline:

1. Love and accept every part of yourself
2. Not being needy and looking to see if its OK with her
3. Not being a victim to your vulnerable side

People will be OK with anything that you are ok with it and that includes the darker side of yourself. If you still judge yourself for something, they too will judge you for it. They will pick up of on your fears, insecurity and judgments and pounce on them.

You must first go in and love and accept every part of yourself. Loving exactly what’s going inside of you doesn’t mean having desire to change those things. Its not a self help technique to improve because you are perfect already, you just need to realize it - “I’m perfect with all of my flaws, fears, doubts and insecurities” Ironically, loving yourself and not trying to improve them will cause you to improve the most.

Whenever you judge yourself for anything do the following:

1. Know that its only the ego that judges, not the true you beyond your mind
2. Say the following affirmation “I love and accept myself completely just the way I am”

“Not being needy and looking to see if its OK with her” Once you truly love and accept a part of yourself you no longer fear others judgments (good or bad) because you no longer judge yourself. We only fear other peoples judgments if we judge ourselves for it FIRST. Neediness in the area of being vulnerable will only come if we want external validation from someone else, a desire to be told that its OK to feel this way.

Accepting the way you are doesn’t mean you become a victim to your flaws. You don’t sit there and complain about or feel victim to them-that’s not accepting them, that’s being a poor me (person who takes little or no response-ability for their lives) Taking charge of life is what a man is and what attracts women to us. Becoming a victim to ANYTHING is going to kill the attraction.

Many many many people fear being vulnerable to others and as a result hold back. Often when you are vulnerable with another person they see themselves in you and will react negatively and attack. They do this because they don’t like what they see in you because they don’t like it in themselves and judge very harshly. If this happens, just know that it is not about you and that you are truly loved.

Another reason people hold back from being vulnerable with each other is the fact that they don’t know how to own their own strength. Whenever we give our power away to others and take crap from them, it closes our hearts and causes us to pull back. It’s painful to be open with someone and have them take advantage or them treat us not so nicely.

We must get the yellow chakra down first (owning strength) before we can open our hearts. Think back to your first love and how much you gave your power away to them. You let them get away with things and it hurt pretty badly. In order to avoid not feel this pain again we stop being vulnerable to people and close ourselves off. Often people think its because they loved too much that they got hurt. It wasn’t their heart that was the problem it was that they didn’t own their strength.

I don’t fear opening my heart up to people and becoming completely vulnerable with them. I don’t fear this because I know I won’t get taken advantaged of because I don’t give my power away to other people. I can be as free as I want to and not worry because the second someone tries to play games with me I will put an end to it. I don’t end up feeling stupid afterwards and close my heart because I don’t take crap from people.

Letting go of the past and learning to own your strength in order to be vulnerable in life is the greatest thing you can do for yourself. Not being who you are on the inside is very lonely. Ironically the loneliness is the same loneliness that most everyone else suffers from. Let the walls come down and share the gift of you with everyone.

Virgins have issues around sex that prevents them from experiencing and enjoying it. They make sex out to be some grand and extraordinary event, which puts too much anxiety and pressure on them to get the job done.

But I’m not going to be talking about the majority of virgins, just the ones who read this website and other websites that are intended to help them get good with women.

The main issue I see with virgins who read up on relationship/dating advice sites is that they set their standards for the first time so high that it prevents them from having sex at all.

Virgins make sex out to be some life altering experience putting too much importance on it and unnecessary pressure on themselves. Sex is great but the majority of sex you have will be so so until you find a girl who is amazing and really does it for you-its not as special as you think.

They do this in order to cause themselves pain on a deep unconscious ego level. The ego is very good at deceiving you into thinking you are doing the right things by having standards, when in fact you are doing all the wrong things. The guy who has little experience will learn how to have standards and qualify girls in order to NOT have sex.

Some of the qualifications for a girl they will lose their flower to are: she must be amazing looking, into spirituality or yoga, smart, follow a mans lead, high vibing etc. What they fail to realize is that while it’s great to have standards, they themselves won’t qualify to get this girl. The guy hasn’t enough experience and know how to be able to handle a girl like this. They won’t attract this girl into their lives because the girl is more advanced then they are-you only attract a girl who compliments you and is on the same level or frequency. This type of girl will only date someone who has this material down.

Their situation becomes a catch 22. They want to have sex but only with a girl who qualifies but in order to get the girl that qualifies they need to experience less qualified girls first. This push pull of anguish causes pain (what the ego needs to survive) and the ego reaps all the benefits.

Reading about dating and relationship mastery online can actually work against a guy who is a virgin if he doesn’t apply the information that’s being taken in. He learns what a relationship is and how to do things correctly and puts unnecessary pressure on himself to live up to that imaginary standard he has created. He begins to expect too much of himself because he has the knowledge and therefore should be able to perform at that level and should be able to get a great woman.

It’s similar to reading all about baseball and expecting yourself to hit a home run the first time out. It takes tons of bad hits and failures in order for a guy to get good with women and get what it is that he truly desires.

Reading about relationship/dating information online is not the same as being able to do it. Knowledge is not the same as wisdom. Wisdom is doing. In order to be able to attract the kind of girl the guy wants to lose his virginity to he must first have experiences and grow from them.

The ego knows exactly what is going on. It knows that he can’t get the dream girl he desires because he hasn’t enough wisdom to get her and keep her. He will stay a virgin for a good bit of time and eventually get so fed up he will lose it to any girl that says “yes.” Immediately after he does lose it, he will beat himself up for not doing it with his dream girl, causing more pain.

My advice: find a decent looking girl who you are attracted to and have sex with her. Who knows, she might turn into the perfect girl for you. If not, this experience will help you grow closer to the point where you have the wisdom to create a great relationship.

“Perfection is an illusion. We become great by learning from our failures”

Most people have different aspirations in life other than loving themselves. They want boats, women, money and so on but not love. They look outside of themselves searching to fill the empty hole in an attempt to find happiness. If you are looking to get relationship and dating mastery, loving yourself is the first place to start. No amount of pickup lines or techniques will EVER make up for a shaky inner reality filled with self loathing and doubt. It is the foundation for everything to go right in your relationships and in life.

I understand what you are thinking, that this is just some airy fairy self help advice. This is what I thought for the longest time but choosing to love myself has been the greatest gift that I could give.

The biggest problem that I had with people offering this advice was: they didn’t love themselves and didn’t offer a guide on how to do it. So here is my little guide to loving yourself:

1. Write out a list of things you appreciate about yourself

This can be a very difficult step to take. People are so used to wallowing in a pit of despair that they can EASILY fire off a list of complaints they have about themselves.

Ask most people what they like about themselves and they will stare at you with a blank confused look while they THINK about the good stuff mustering up one or two positive qualities.

Don’t get frustrated when the good qualities don’t come easily to mind. It takes time to meditate on what you love about yourself but it will come to you.

This is a crucial step to take, without finding out and actively appreciating yourself, how will anyone else?

2. Make the choice to love yourself

Everything in life is a choice and so is this one

3. Stop beating yourself up and ignore the thoughts

The mind/ego is a duality self loathing machine. It will constantly tell you that you are fatter and dumber than you really are. It does this to keep you halfway between suicide and happiness in order to continue its survival.

YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS. You are not your thoughts any more than you are your muscles or skin. People often identify with how they look and I like to think that I’m more than a bone structure and the skin that covers it. You’ll never hear anyone get upset and say they are losing a part of themselves when their skin sheds and becomes dust.

The mind wont stop chattering away so make the choice to either engage in these thoughts or not. Most of the thoughts that your mind produces will not be based in reality at all.

An example of this would be a perfect ten model who thinks she’s fat. Everyone around her could tell her that she’s not but her ego will repeat this thought over and over. She isn’t actually fat, but she believes it to be true because she is identifying with the mind.

Ignore the thoughts that your mind produces. This can be very difficult. It takes time to master ignoring the negative mind thoughts.

4. Don’t use affirmations except this one

As I mentioned before the mind is a duality machine. If you take an affirmation like “I am great and all women love me” the mind will instantly produce the opposite. It will say “I suck and women hate me.” The first affirmation will make you feel high, feeling good for a little while until the duality kicks in and you crash with returning sadness.

“I love and accept myself completely just the way I am” will not induce the duality the mind makes because it is a universal truth that is self evident.

Next time you are feeling the temptation to buy into the mind when it says you are a loser, say “I love and accept myself completely the way I am” and notice how peaceful you will feel. It might take a couple of times repeating it until the peace sets in.

At first it might seem like you are lying but eventually loving yourself will become automatic.

5. Become honest with yourself

Now that you have taken a look at the good stuff it’s time to look at the “bad stuff.” Recognizing the things you consider bad about yourself isn’t the same as talking yourself down. When you take a trip into your own world don’t make judgments about the “bad stuff.” Don’t tell yourself ” I shouldn’t feel this way” or “I shouldn’t behave this way.” Just look at it the best you can without attaching a label to it.

Honesty will bring awareness into your “issues.” When you are aware of something it no longer has the ability to control you.

6. Forgive yourself

In order to forgive yourself for the “mistakes” you have made in the past you must first learn the lessons needed from them.

Mistakes happen and we make them in order to learn and grow. They are truly a beautiful thing.

7. Treat yourself nicely

-Buy nice clothes

-treat yourself to good foods

-buy good wine

-exercise

-meditate

-don’t work too hard

-don’t worry about life too much

-buy yourself an animal. It will help you to open up and feel more love in your life having an animal get extremely excited even though it just saw you ten seconds ago. (look at the picture at the top)

8. Don’t take crap from people

Quote from my blog

“Whenever we give our power away to others and take crap from them, it closes our hearts and causes us to pull back. It’s painful to be open with someone and have them take advantage of us or treat us not so nicely.”

Truly loving yourself means that you love yourself so much so to not let anyone disrespect you or treat you badly.

9. Push past your fears

Fear is only a product of the ego and the ego hates you. Its not your enemy to loath because its only doing what it knows how to do. Fear is an illusion that the ego uses to keep you nice and controlled. You find out that fear isn’t real after you push past it. The most common response after plowing through a fear is “well, that wasn’t so bad.”

Pushing past your fears and having the courage to do so will help lessen the egos self loathing control over you. It will build more confidence as well as help you love yourself more because loving yourself is your natural state buried underneath the ego.

Guys learn to qualify and have standards in order to pull away from the PUA phase and wanting to sleep with anything with a pulse. Once they have transcended that phase and learned to not use women to fill a hole inside of themselves, they can drop over qualifying. Its important and vital to learn to have a high standards but even more important to let it go.

The real qualifying comes when you are in a relationship with someone, NOT in the beginning phase of first meeting her. Have basic standards for women like an open heart, sense of humor and not too much pussy power. If a girl can handle a conversation with me and doesn’t bore me to tears I will sleep with her and get into a relationship. Whether she can meet my standards for a relationship will be found out soon enough.

The only real and important standard to have for a girl is how strong she is. ALL women have problems and you will never find the perfect girl simply because she doesn’t exist. You will need to train EVERY woman you fall into a relationship with. The real test is whether or not she is strong enough to handle the training.

My standards for a women are really high but only when she is in a relationship with me. She needs to be strong enough to face her fears, her ego, and everything else. She needs to be able to handle set backs and let downs and still come out swinging. Being in a relationship with me is not a walk in the park.

A girl who is strong like this is very rare but to know whether or not a girl is right for you comes from being in a relationship, this is the true test. Most people have fake social masks that they wear, especially women. After the initial high of first meeting someone fades their pain body will start to come out. This usually occurs after two to three weeks. After it fades you will know if she is strong and persistent enough to actually be in a relationship with you.

Guys over qualify and are too rough on women in the beginning stages for several reasons. The first reason for over qualifying is that they are scared. They use qualifying to cover up their real insecurities and fears. They wont admit this to themselves because the ego is very elusive and clever but the motivation for over qualifying is to push women away in order to avoid facing their fears.

The second motivating factor behind over qualifying is the illusion that the perfect girl is out there waiting for them. Lets face it, spanking is a pain in the ass. Until a girl is completely in the heart, training them is a 24 hour a day baby sitting job with many annoying experiences. Guys who overqualify have a desire to cut out some of this annoying process and I don’t blame them. They do it because they hold onto the no need to be trained imaginary women either because they don’t have the energy to do it or they are scared. Spanking and training women requires a lot of courage and some guys don’t have the courage to do it.

The thing that the “perfect women” guy doesn’t realize is that they aren’t perfect either. Their inner game isn’t as tight as they believe it to be. Real inner game growth comes not from just reading something but actually living and applying it. This practice comes from within a relationship, not being single. Spank mastery is a true art form and comes from experience, not just reading it.

The third reason for a guy will over qualify and become too harsh on women in the beginning is because he has yellow chakra issues with owning his own strength. They meet a girl that they are into and over spank in the beginning because they want to prove to themselves and the woman that they are strong and take no crap. This is based in fear so its not truly owning ones strength.

After you have found a woman who can handle being in a conversation with you, who is playful and fun and who isn’t a pussy power ranger, simply enjoy the women and your time with her. Don’t over analyze her every move to see if she qualifies. Don’t spank her for every little thing she does wrong. This will scare the women away and kind of freak her out. It doesn’t mean you are a walking door mat and take crap from her but it means let her imperfections go, you can take care of them later ; )

The initial stages of meeting a woman and dating her is meant to be a pleasurable experience. She will have massive amounts of attraction for you, so let her enjoy those feelings. Don’t go and ruin it by being too hard on her in the beginning. The feelings of attraction will be very high and she will soon become addicted to you. Once she is hooked and you have SLEPT with her THEN the training can begin.

Once you are in a relationship with her she will prove to you whether or not she is strong enough to handle you. In the relationship is where her true colors will shine and her strength tested.

Mistakes happen and are a natural part of life. Let your fears go of picking a wrong girl because there is no such thing as a wrong girl, only lessons to be learned. A brief moment of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness.

The road to success in obtaining one’s goals is a stressful one that is often not enjoyed until one reaches their goal. Then what? The success is fleeting and then they are forced to distract themselves with ego desires like buying things that they don’t need or take on another goal and become miserable in their pursuit of the next goal.

Setting goals can be scary because of the enormous task at hand. Most of the time this prevents people from even starting. While others push through this fear they are still faced with obstacles to overcome.

Life isn’t meant to be struggle.

One’s mission is not a goal to obtain. For a goal has an end, while a mission never dies. If your mission is to be an example of unconditional love, you will continue this mission until the last breathe leaves your body. But if you strive to create a successful company you will eventually reach your goal and your job is done. This leaves you with an empty or unfulfilled feeling, along with the question ‘Now what?’

Once a person knows their mission they can begin right away without hesitation or the fear of reaching a goal.

Choose a mission or purpose that gives and improves life instead of one that drains and takes from existence. Existence always rewards those whose mission is that which will add great value to other’s lives and humanity as a whole.

The typical ‘problem’ people are faced with which deters most from pursuing their mission is money. Without food, shelter, and basics needs, you can’t follow your mission. You won’t help many people by living on the streets worrying about whether a junkie in the ally is going to stab you.

I’m going to suggest that you keep your current job. It doesn’t mean that you will not continue on your path. Instead, use your job as a stepping stone to pursuing your mission until it can provide you with enough money to support yourself.

Your job might not be the most fulfilling but it will get a whole lot easier once you know that you are using the job as a stepping stone to something greater. Most people live lives of quiet desperation because they feel that their job is an end in and of itself and not a stepping stone. They fear they will die in a cubical.

Another difficulty most people face is finding their mission. They make the mistake of not knowing the difference between one’s mission and the medium in which they will live out their mission. Let me explain.

My mission is to be an example of unconditional love light and compassion, to be an example of integrity and a few others. The medium that I use to follow my mission is by teaching others about women and dating.

Find your mission first and the medium that you use will present itself naturally. Once you make a decision on your mission, doors will ‘magically’ open up for you.

How to Find Your Mission

The way to find what your mission is and what you were born to do, is to find out what your unique qualities are. Everyone has a different set of unique qualities that they posses but sadly most will never know what they are.

If I were to ask most people what is wrong with them they would quickly and easily be able to give a rundown of all of their faults. Now, if I were to ask most people what their unique gifts are, they would stare at me with a blank look on their face.

Even if they were able to answer the question it would come after several minutes of thought. They are unsure of their gifts, natural abilities and unique qualities.

Ask yourself the following questions:

What do I like to do?

What are my unique gifts?

What are my passions?

What mark do I want to leave on the world?

How do I want to be remembered after I’m gone?

Put money aside when you are thinking about your mission because money isn’t a factor. ‘Do what you love and the money will follow’ should be held in mind as you search for your mission. Remember, existence always rewards those who contribute to the world.

Make your mission about something that will be for the greater good of society. Make it something that is even greater than yourself. When you die, do you want your only contribution to be that you made tons of money for yourself? Or do you want to make a lasting mark on the world?

If you don’t know your mission right now, make your mission about finding it. It might come easily to you or it might take some time to find out what you want to do with your life.

Once you have your unique qualities and what you are passionate about, you can now create a mission statement. Write it down. Writing your mission statement down makes it concrete and a reality for you instead of just an idea.

Whenever you feel lost and unsure of what to do, take a look at your mission statement and you will realize what to do to in order to return to your path.

Note that you will go back to your mission statement from time to time to upgrade and make changes to it. Be ok with the fact that it won’t be a 100% perfect at first. Today you might want your mission to be one thing and the next day it might be something different. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

Now that you have an idea of what you want your mission to be you have a path to follow. Start living it.

Most people haven’t the slightest idea of what they want to do with their lives beyond making a lot of money. Without a mission and purpose you will spend your life drifting like a cork screw in an open sea. You can’t get to where you want to go without knowing the destination.

In addition, a man on a mission is very attractive to a girl. They know that the man has a sense of purpose in life. They know that he isn’t another sheep in the flock who is satisfied with everyday life-they strive for more. Knowing where you are going in life and being the direction is very yang. Lasting attraction is all about yin/yang polarity.

The women in your life need to know that you are taking her someplace, taking her on an adventure and growing together. Most guys think that they can get by with doing the normal relationship crap and keep the passion alive. In reality, this is enough to keep you happy in the beginning stages of the relationship but will soon become boring and stagnate.

Some women are more yang than most and already have a mission in their lives. We need to honor those women who do not wish to follow in our paths.

A lot of women are naturally more yin. Yin is very feminine, nurturing and giving. Yin’s job is to support a man who is on a mission. On the other hand, when yin doesn’t have a masculine, yang leader with a purpose she begins to feel unfulfilled. Lacking proper yin/yang polarity will cause the attraction to fade. It does so because she is with a weak man that does not know what he is doing with his life.

You should also have your girlfriend find out what her unique gifts are and what she can contribute to your mission. For example, I suck with grammar and spelling but my girlfriend doesn’t. She helps me spell check my writing and make sure it sounds good.

My girlfriend also supports my mission in other ways. She cleans, does laundry and all the other stuff I hate doing. She does that stuff so I am better able to focus on my mission. Cleaning up doesn’t seem very significant but if she is doing it is so I can focus on my mission, her role becomes very important. In other words, she is helping improve existence in her own way.

When a woman helps support your mission, her life is given a sense of purpose as well. When your mission improves existence, she will feel as though she is doing the same.

Since missions will never end, unlike goals, you will always be on your path. Your relationship will continue to grow as you pursue your purpose. This will keep the attraction and excitement alive.

Without a mission you won’t know where you are heading. When you are unsure of where to go you will not be able to properly lead a woman. You will look to her for direction just to find that she is looking right back at you to take the lead. This is a huge turn off for women.

Strong attraction will be felt in the presence of a man who knows what he wants in life and will not stop for anyone or anything to get it. Your mission is not imposed upon you by God or anyone else.

Make the choice to find your purpose today and separate yourself from the pack.

The first reason for their contempt for women stems from their anger at how easily women can get sex. They will call women sluts or whores but the truth is they wish that they could get laid as easily as they do. A guys desire to have an easy pass to getting laid comes from feelings of being inadequate. They feel like they are not enough and try and fill that gap inside of themselves through sex. When they are unable to get sex, they go further into despair.

Men who hate women hold onto feelings of not being enough and desire to cover this up by sleeping with a whole score of women. They can’t accomplish this and it intensifies their feelings of being inadequate because it’s something that guys should naturally be able to do.

Guys hate women for their ability to get men to do whatever they want them to do. They hate this because it reflects back their own desires to be able to control and manipulate people. I see this all the time with guys, they get into stuff like inner game reframe and ideagasms not to expand love but to control women. This desire to control others stems from their own inability to control themselves and their own lives.

Most things that are based in fear like controlling and manipulating others are often judged very harshly and become too painful for a person to handle. As a result, their desires get projected out into the world. They try and fix the crack in the mirror and not themselves. They will live vicariously through their children because they are mad at themselves for not making something of their lives. They will try and offer unsolicited advice on relationships because their own relationships suck. They will go door to door convincing others to worship their God because deep down they don’t believe it.

This all comes back to unbalanced orange chakra. With an unbalanced orange chakra the ego tends to run wild. The ego wants nothing more then to control others. It likes to feel superior to people because it is in fact deeply insecure. It feels superior by putting other people down.

A great example of this is how most women will treat each other. Its very common for women to hate other women, unless they are friends with them. Even then they are usually just in competition with each other. An average looking girl will call a hotter girl a slut. Not because the hotter girl is in fact a slut but because they feel inferior to them. This leads to a lot of woman on woman hating because there will always be a hotter girl.

If the hotter girl in fact turns out to be a slut, the less attractive girl is happy. She feels happy because it puts the attractive woman on a lower scale then her. She feels superior and her ego is nice and pleased.

Another cause for men hating women is because even the ugliest girl can still get men’s attention. The guy hates this because he is attention deprived. He wishes he could try and attempt to fill the gap inside of him by getting attention from others.

Attention from others is what the ego loves. It makes the ego feel special and important but this is a lie. No body is special, including yours truly. We are all one and all equal, a fact that this ego wishes to ignore.

A guy who lets his ego control him will desire the massive attention from others. Unfortunately the ego can never get filled no matter what. No matter how much attention you get from other people or how cool they think you are it will not be enough for the ego. Sadly, this fact is not realized by most people and they waste an entire lifetime chasing a mirage.

If they do get tons of attention from women and sleep with the hottest girls, after a while they will find it very unsatisfying. This is because the ego is a bottomless pit. No external thing will ever bring you true happiness. Granted, love from women is nice but it’s not a requirement to be happy. If you aren’t happy with yourself no amount of external love will make up for it.

Guys also hate and love women because of the old Madonna/whore complex. They love the whore and feel guilty as a result. They feel this way because deep down inside their programming from parents and society tell them that they should go for the Madonna, the good girl. It’s like being pulled apart emotionally by two opposing magnets.

Another motivation for hating women comes from the guilt that they feel from their HUMAN biology. The biology of a human is very animalistic in nature. It doesn’t care about love or loyalty or even the girl’s name. It cares only about mating. Deep down there is a fantasy of every guy to have un-attached, un-emotional, perspicuous sex where they basically use the other person. It’s something that is hardwired into EVERY GUY.

This hump and dump kind of fantasy creates a large amount of guilt and shame. They feel guilty for even having thoughts like this, let alone actually doing it. They project their own values onto the human biology. They think that because they are into meditating and inner game that they should know better. They try and repress these thoughts and label them as “dirty.” Repression always comes out in unhealthy ways like resenting women.

The way to transcend the guilt of having lust no strings attached fantasies is to realize that its only the biological part of the body that has these desires. The biology part of yourself is NOT actually who you are. Don’t judge it or repressed it, simply let it go and know that its not you. Observe it.

The mind will see a hot woman and think about how great it would be to just rip her clothes off and have caveman style sex with her. This is fine, let the mind think what it wants to think, its not you anyways.

Hating women also comes from learning and becoming a pick up artist. Become a pick up artist long enough and you will learn to downright loathe women. Most of the guys who become good at picking up women started out being absolutely hopeless with them. They never got enough attention from women which caused a lot of anger and bitterness. They became good with women but still held onto this anger. Below the surface is a revenge mentality because they were never adored by them in the past.

On some level the pick up artist understands how shallow it is sleeping with new women every day of the week. Eventually they desire to be in a relationship with one of these girls and want something more.

The seduction community is based on showing higher value and pushing buttons. ACTING like you are indifferent is the cornerstone of their approaches. Acting aloof with draw in girls who are low consciousness and just as aloof as they are. These women will lie, cheat and sometimes steal from the guy. This will fuel their harboring bitterness and resentment towards women.

The PUA has some heart and deep deep down desires more than to just sleep with random girls. They want more but are stuck in the mindset of women being validation seeking state junkies. They have often helped women cheat on their boyfriends. The heart knows better than to do this. Cheating and dragon butter closes the heart greatly and causes a lot of pain. Like most people that feel pain, they must point a finger in order to avoid response-ability and abstain from letting the pain become too overwhelming. That finger is often pointed in the direction of women.

Another common reason why guys hate women is because of their own lack of ability to stand up for themselves. Women can either be your greatest helper or your worst enemy depending on how you treat them. If you have a complete lack of respect for yourself and let women walk all over you they will become your enemy- how can you respect someone who doesn’t even respect themselves.

A guy’s inability to stand up for himself and own his own strength will cause women to take advantage of them. They aren’t really mad at the woman for disrespecting them. They are really just made at themselves for not having more self-respect and putting up with too much crap.

Along these same lines a guy will begin to hate women if he has a lack of compassion for his past painful experiences. The compassion formula teaches us to understand how we invited these painful events into our lives. If a guy doesn’t accept response-ability for the role he played in the situation he will end up pointing a finger at women.

The mind tends to over generalize and lump things into an all or nothing category. It might have been Suzie that cheated on him but the mind over generalizes to think that ALL women are cheaters. If the past pain doesn’t get resolved through compassion the guy will end up having some level of disdain for women.

If the issues you have with hating women comes down to past relationships or experiences then run the compassion formula and get those issues solved. Compassion formula is like a magic pain reliever, better than any aspirin you will ever take.

A large portion of hatred for women stems from their relationship with their own mother. How their mothers treated them will be a strong indication on how they view and treat women. Some mothers are very aloof to their children. They don’t give enough love or attention and as a result the child begins to resent women.

To help “fix” these issues with hating women you must understand that it is not you that hate women but your ego. The ego desires to hold onto this anger towards women in order to get fed. It ensures its survival through your pain. Simply allow the thoughts to come up and to pass through you. Sit back and observe them without judgment.

Another trick to help balance your lack of attention issues is to repeat the following affirmation over and over: “I am enough.” Being enough means that you don’t need anything outside of yourself to make you feel happy. It doesn’t mean that you still don’t enjoy attention from women; it just means that you can take it or leave it. So the next time you feel resentment towards women repeat that affirmation until you calm down. After you have calmed down run the compassion formula.

Know that by hating women you are doing them a great disservice. Get over your not enough issues and spread the gift that is you.

Going out and meeting new people can be scary if you aren’t used to it. The sweaty palms, nervous feeling in your gut and the stuttering will happen if you aren’t a seasoned socializer. At times it can become so terrifying that hiding behind a computer screen day and night can seem like a much better alternative.

Don’t fall for the trap and become an online dating addict. Turning to your computer to find you dates is bitter sweet. On the one hand you are getting the attention from the opposite sex you so desperately crave. On the other hand you losing out on a key element of a successful and happy life…learning to be social.

The people who will have the most trouble becoming good with women are the ones who never learned to be social. Being social is a skill, not something that is learned simply by reading it. It requires action in order to get it mastered. You could read about body language, voice tone and emotions till the cows come home but you will never fully grasp this till you go out and try it.

When you are talking with another person there are a million different actions all happening at once. It is impossible to read and think about all of these different social cues all at one time, otherwise you would never talk in a conversation.

Your brain is wired to learn skill sets without you consciously being aware of everything that is going on. If you were aware of the amount of calculation and decision involved in riding a bike you would never be able to do it. Your unconscious takes care of almost everything and allows you to be aware of what you need to know. The same goes with becoming social.

Your brain picks up on these social cues while you are interacting with someone and processes them unconsciously. It will only tell you what you need to know. Learning when to talk, when to listen, how to move your body and all the other factors that come into every interaction is learned on an unconscious level.

The ONLY way that this unconscious learning can happen is by going out and interacting with other people. When you opt to go with online interacting none of this learning takes place. You might know what to say to people but you won’t do well in a social interactions because you haven’t learned how to read social cues. You are doing yourself a great disservice by missing out on one of the key fundamentals of life.

If you decide to stick to the online dating in hopes of creating a real life relationship your chances of it becoming successful are low. The initial interaction will go sour very quickly because you haven’t taken the time to learn the social skills necessary for interacting with women. This online image that you have created for yourself will vanish within moments of her meeting you.

The only way for the relationship to work is if she completely lacks social skills as well. If that is the case she will tend to be on the uglier side because most beautiful women get tons of social interactions and the less than attractive women don’t.
Another reason why people turn to the internet for some loving is because they are scared. Scared to face rejection that is inevitable when it comes to approaching women. Scared to face their fears so they take comfort in internet dating.

Whenever you avoid a fear by taking the easier route you are drifter further away from being free and confident. Every time you push through one of your fears you become a little bit more confident. Push through all of them and you will find a confidence level in yourself that you never thought was possible.

No matter how hard you try you can never avoid a fear, only distract yourself from it. Even if you try your best hardest to avoid your fear it will still find away to creep it’s way back into your life. Repression is never the answer because that which you repress will come out in other unhealthy ways.

Do yourself a favor and delete your e harmony account or any other accounts that you have. Get up and walk away from your computer. Go out and push through your fears and meet real live women. Happiness won’t be found through a keyboard and profile.

The answer to that will always be the same…you can’t. If there isn’t any real attraction between you and the girl from the get go there is NOTHING you can do about it. No amount of lines or telling her how you feel will get her to change her mind about you.

The movie industry screws with a lot of guys minds by making them believe that you can turn a friendship into something sexual or romantic. What works in the movies doesn’t work in real life. Playing Peter Gabriel outside of her window won’t make her fall head over heals for you. No, she won’t read your romantic love letter that you have worked on for years and want to jump into bed with you. Sadly many men have to learn this lesson the hard way.

Even worse than the movie industries portrayal of this unfortunate situation is the Internet. I did a quick google search on ‘how to turn a friend into a lover’ and got over 15 million responses. I clicked on a couple of the results to see what kind of false hope they were giving people. Not one of these sites were able to tell the truth about this predicament. They all stated that is was very possible to turn a friendship around. One site even offered a spell that you can use to enchant the woman.

When you first approach or meet a woman she puts you into one of two categories…yes or no. Yes, she is attracted to you or no she has no attraction for you. If you get lumped into the ‘no’ category there is nothing you can do to change her mind. You are forever branded as a no.

With that said there are a bunch of claims of friendships turning into relationships out there. These claims are a little misleading. What happens here is one of two things:

1. The woman decided to settle for a guy she wasn’t attracted to

or…

2. There was attraction from the beginning but for whatever reason it never escalated any further

Many times women will settle for a guy that they really aren’t that attracted to physically or sexually. This happens for a variety of reasons:

1. Tired of looking for the right guy so she takes what’s available to her

2. Desires to get married more than getting married to the right guy

3. Feels like she can’t do any better. Low self esteem goes hand and hand with loneliness. Everyone at some point just wants someone to be there for them. Unfortunately for her there are few options available except for the guy who has loved her for so long.

4. Knows that the guy is in love with her and will do anything she says. It’s a sad story but many people like to control others. Their self esteem and lack of real power drives them to find people that will worship them and do anything they want. They aren’t too concerned with love as they are with admiration and control.

When there is attraction from the start but nothing happens the option of taking it further is always available. For whatever reason the both of them never got together. They may have been dating other people at the time or their schedules might have been too busy for a relationship.

In these situations they are “friends” but there was always an undertone of attraction. There is always something beneath their communication that stated that they liked one another.

Later down the road, if the conditions are right, they might get together and start a relationship. They were technically friends before that time but there was always some attraction in the mix.

This is how me and my girlfriend got together. We met during school but for whatever reason never took it past innocent flirting. Years later we got back in contact with each other and started dating. That was over two and a half years ago.

What if I get my insecurities handled and become confident? Will that help?

Some men believe that after they get their act together with women that they will have a chance with that one girl. To me, to truly be great with women is to have a ‘take em or leave em’ type of attitude. You would enjoy being surrounded with lots of women but you don’t need it to be happy.

When you get better with women in hopes of getting that one special girl you are showing extreme neediness. You are changing everything about yourself completely just for one woman. You are doing it for HER and not for YOURSELF. If you change everything just to get her to like you it will never work because of you are still needy. If you hadn’t guessed neediness is not an attractive quality to have

What do I do now?

There is a ray of hope that can come from your situation. You can learn from the mistakes you made with this girl and not repeat them over and over. You can learn what is actually attractive to women.

I won’t go into detail about what you can do to become more attractive because I provide a lot of tips on this site. As well, I take an in depth look at approaching women on my upcoming product ‘The Natural Approach: Inner Game Solutions to Approaching’ It’s a product dedicated to getting your insecurities, fears and ANY other issues handled around women so you can approach them with ease.

Leave comments and give me your feedback

Internally most guys think that they are complete lonely losers that no one could love. They greatly fear that women will find this out and have no desire for them. They learn all these cool lines and tricks but that fear of being thought of as a loser by women and confirming their already held beliefs is still strong. It carries so much wait that it cripples them from being comfortable in interactions or EVEN APPROACHING WOMEN.

They try their hardest to avoid getting “rejected” in order to avoid facing their own belief system. They try their very best to do everything “right”and LOOK COOL but by the very act of trying they are doing everything wrong. From this they place wayyy tooo much importance on getting a good re-action from the girl and becoming very outcome dependent and needy. If the interaction goes well they get a false sense of self esteem from the girl and feel good. If it goes badly then that fear of of actually being a loser is triggered and they feel terrible.

When you are outcome dependent you become very attached to what the girl thinks of you. This just breeds of insecurity and neediness which if you hadn’t guessed is a HUGE TURN OFF for women. Women are attracted to men who could take or leave any woman. Not caring whether the woman comes, stays, lays or prays seems very counter intuitive but its what will get you the “best” results and lead to a happier and more peaceful life.

In addition to this fear of being rejected is a fear of the unknown. If you are just starting out in approaching or have done a couple of approaches the fear of the unknown is still lingering in the background. This fears makes your mind race at a hundred miles per hour with a million questions: “what if she pours a drink on me?” “what if she rejects me and all the people in the club laugh at me and I am humiliated?” “what if this happens?” “what if that happens?” and so on. The only way around fear of the unknown is to go straight through it and become comfortable with ambiguity of approaching and life.

When you get rejected badly and the initial sting wears down you will find it hilarious how some girls will treat a complete stranger who was just saying Hi to them and being friendly. Part of the reason why they felt the need to reject you badly is how annoyed they are at being hit on all day by guys who haven’t a clue. Another part of it is the pleasure they get from rejecting guys. They love the feeling of having the power to control another persons state of emotions through their own actions.

One of the biggest fears that guys carry around with them is a fear of going back to who they were before they learned of the seduction community or any self help stuff. They remember how they felt before knowing any better, the loneliness, the feeling or being powerless and useless in driving the direction of their own lives.

Guy’s develop a debilitating fear of being rejected because they fear that they will go back to who they were in the past. As a result, they avoid rejection at all costs.

My suggestion: Go out with the intention of getting rejected HARD. Like any fear, the only way around it is to go through it. Getting rejected, laughed at, drink thrown in face is NOT A BIG DEAL. It’s not a big deal but you need to go through harsh and “embarrassing” rejection in order to realize that it doesn’t matter what some anorexic club ho who has NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE thinks of you.

Hypnotica walked around for two months unshowered, unshaven, in a dress with a dildo strapped to his head in order to get over caring about what other people think. This is a great thing to do but it’s not very practical to people with jobs and obligations. Alternatively, you can go out as many times as needed with the intention of getting rejected.

Here are a couple of things you can do to go down in flames:

-Go up to a girl or a group of girls and ask them “hey, do you like salads? I like croûtons that come with salads” It’s a very stupid and ridiculous question to ask to girls in a club but it will help you get over trying to look cool and caring what they think of you.

-Go up to a girl and in a suave and cheesy way say “Daddy’s home” but try not to crack up laughing before you deliver the line.

After you say these two things or make up your own, DON’T try and recover and get the girl-just make the approach as bad as you can possibly make it. You might feel uneasy and dumb saying these things but those feelings will eventually go away.

Each time you get rejected badly you will get closer and closer to not giving a shit what other people think about you and you will stop caring about the outcome of the situation. Releasing attachment and concern for other’s opinion of you will GREATLY improve your success with women and all other areas of your life.

After a while you will actually begin to enjoy being rejected because of how funny it will become to you. Your skin will be so thick that nothing she does will be any concern of yours. It will no longer send you down a spiral of depression and completely ruin your night.

I’m sorta sadistic in nature, I’m not sure what I enjoy more, being rejected badly or getting the girl. I’m leaning towards to former because getting the girl is enjoyable but getting rejected harshly in a hilarious way is damn entertaining.